navigating bridal beauty pressure
as a plus size bride
Our wonderful Unconventional, Jenny from Wedding Elements shared with us her wonderful blog in which she opens up about the bridal beauty pressure plus-size brides often face. With honesty and encouragement, she reminds us that confidence and joy—not unrealistic standards—are what truly make a bride shine. This piece is an empowering reminder that every bride deserves to feel radiant on her big day—exactly as she is.
When I got engaged, I was buzzing. Like, floaty, can’t-stop-smiling, “oh my god this is my actual fiancé” levels of buzzing. I said yes to the love of my life, popped the prosecco, and immediately got lost in a haze of Pinterest boards and spreadsheets.
But here’s what no one tells you, there’s this creeping, quiet monster that sneaks in. The bridal beauty pressure.
And it’s not just “look nice.” It’s “look flawless.” Glow like you’ve been lit by a ring light for six months. Magically sculpt yourself into the bride you see in magazines and Instagram. Apparently, it’s illegal to have a double chin in your wedding photos (Forget double chin, I had double cheeks).
Now, I’m plus size. And I’ve always thought of myself as body positive. I wear bodycon dresses and flaunt my figure, I no longer hide from the camera (most of the time), and I follow all the plus-size, body positive creators on Instagram. But let me tell you — once that engagement ring was on my finger, my inner critic went full Gollum.
the tug of war inside my head
On one side, you’ve got the old-school wedding culture shouting, “Lose weight! Tone up! It’s the most important day of your life, so obviously you need to look 21 again.”
On the other, the body positivity movement is yelling, “Own it! Flaunt it! Wear the slinkiest, tightest dress you can find and strut like Beyoncé.”
And me? I’m standing in the middle wondering why I don’t fully belong to either camp.
The truth is, I didn’t hate myself — but I didn’t love the mirror either. I wanted to feel good in my own skin… but I also missed the slimmer, more confident version of me from a few years ago. I didn’t want to transform — I just wanted to feel like me again.
No one talks about that awkward middle ground. The space where “love yourself” feels like too much of a leap, but “fix yourself” feels cruel.
the plan to 'sort myself out'
Like most brides, I thought, “Right, I’ll just lose a bit of weight before the wedding. No biggie.”
Except, it was a biggie. I tried keto, slimming world, exercise plans that I immediately resented… and eventually, Mounjaro jabs. Those made me so ill I didn’t want to get out of bed. It got dark, and it got scary — all because I thought I’d be a “better” bride if I was smaller.
Here’s the thing: you cannot buy body positivity. I tried. I threw money at scrubs, facials, supplements, lymphatic drainage massages — you name it. Confidence doesn’t come in a serum, a dress size, or a before-and-after photo. But the wedding industry will happily sell you the illusion that it does.
dress shopping: aka humiliation with champagne
I avoided plus size bridal shops like the plague because I thought, “I’ll be slimmer by the wedding, I won’t need one.”
So I booked regular boutiques, squeezed myself into sample sizes designed for women half my size, and left feeling like I’d failed a test I didn’t even know I was sitting. Those dreamy, bubbly, rom-com dress moments? Yeah, I had the opposite.
In the end, I picked a dress that looked… okay. Not love-at-first-sight, not “this is the one” — it was the only dress I didn’t feel horrendous in. But it needed so many alterations, it had so much boning in the bodice to hold my bust up that I could barely breathe all day.
If I could go back, I’d march straight into a plus size specialist, try on dresses that actually fit my body, and pick one I could eat, dance, and sit down in without cutting off circulation.
Hair, Makeup & the Slow Death of Confidence
The first hair and makeup trial made me look ten years older and very, very tired. I politely gave feedback, but she wouldn’t allow me a second trial. Then — less than 24 hours before the wedding — she cancelled, sending someone else who arrived late and couldn’t even do hair properly. My hair looked horrendous on the day, something I still really struggle with.
And because I’d lost confidence by then, I didn’t speak up. I wish I had. I wish I’d found someone who got plus size brides, knew how to flatter my face shape, and didn’t think contouring me into a stranger was the goal.
The Late-Night Instagram Spiral
At some point, I accepted that I wasn’t going to morph into my slimmer self before the wedding. So I did what a lot of us do — I searched for “plus size brides” online, hoping to see someone like me looking incredible.
But here’s the problem: the women I found were incredible. Glowing with body positivity, confident, unapologetic. I wasn’t there. I was in the awkward middle — not hating myself, but not strutting either. And that’s a version of bridal life that no one puts on Instagram.
the big day (spoiler: it was amazing)
The hair wasn’t perfect. The dress pinched. I still didn’t love what I saw in the mirror.
But then… I saw my partner. And honestly? All of it melted away.
I was happy. Like, giddy, can’t-stop-smiling, “oh my god, this is my wedding” happy. And when I look at the photos now, I see it — joy radiating out of me. That’s what people notice. Not my arms, my chin, not even my awful hair. How happy I looked.
If I Could Do It All Again…
I’d go to a plus size dress shop from the start.
I would pick comfort and joy over Spanx and boning.
I’d hire a hair & makeup artist who truly celebrated me.
I would stop spending hundreds trying to fix a body that wasn’t broken.
And I’d remember that body positivity doesn’t magically appear when you lose weight — it appears when you stop punishing yourself for not being there yet.,
for every bride in the middle
If you’re reading this and feeling that same tug-of-war — please know you are not failing at being a bride. You’re not doing it “wrong” because you’re not in love with every inch of yourself, and you’re not less-than because you’re not smashing the body positivity game.
You can be figuring it out; you can have wobbles; you can cry in a changing room, avoid certain photos, or secretly wish for your younger, slimmer self — and still be completely worthy of joy, love, and celebration.
Your wedding day is not a photoshoot you have to pass. It’s a day where you stand in front of the person you love and say, this is it, you and me. And trust me, no one there will be inspecting your arms or your waist. They’ll see the way your whole face lights up. They’ll remember your laugh, the way you threw your head back on the dance floor, the little squeeze you gave your partner’s hand during the vows.
That’s what lasts. Not the number on the scale; not the angle of your jawline; not even the dress.
So if you’re in that messy middle — I’m right there with you. And I promise, when you look back years from now, you’ll see the same thing I do: not a “perfect” bride, but a real one. Gloriously, messily, beautifully real.
A huge thank you to Jenny from Wedding Elements for sharing her story and shedding light on such an important topic. Her words are a powerful reminder that every bride deserves to feel celebrated and beautiful just as she is. May her message inspire all brides to embrace body positivity, their own unique glow and walk into their wedding day with confidence and joy.
Jenny and Tom are a real-life neurospicy couple who decided to channel their love of weddings, woodwork, glitter and good vibes into a business that brings all the fun (and none of the stress) to your big day.
